Honest Critiques

No, I mean it. REAL honest. Email your excerpts or full stories, up to 1000 words or so, to honestcrits [at] yahoo [dot] co [dot] uk. Synopses would also be welcome. My backlog is so daunting now that I recommend not submitting anything you are not prepared to wait a couple of months for a response on.
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  • Tuesday, September 27, 2005

    RSS and other things.

    If you use RSS, you can now subscribe to Honest Critiques using the link in the sidebar.

    I've had some emails from people who've submitted things to the blog asking when I'll get to them. I had a bit of a hiatus last month - we won the Ashes, did I mention that? - but I'm back on track. The earliest thing in the queue, though, is from August the 17th, so I have a little ground to make up. At the latest, reckon on four weeks from receipt (still better by far than in my day job... but then the pile is not nearly so long.) I'm not always acknowledging receipt because I'm a lazy hound, and uncouth with it. Sorry.

    Please please can I reiterate: if at all possible could you strip any special characters out of your submissions? That means smart quotes; smart apostrophes; smart ellipses; and en or em dashes. Blogger is violently allergic (check the archives) and even pasting Word docs into Notepad doesn't get rid of everything. It plays havoc with text encoding. I will have to look for a DOS text editor or something that doesn't try so hard to be helpful.

    I am also considering moving the site away from Blogger, as my techno-wizard brother has set me up the shell of a blog elsewhere. It looks very flexible and powerful but I'll need a while to find out how it works - it's based on Greymatter and it's all rather daunting. Oh God I'm going to have to learn CSS aren't I...

    Is everyone still enjoying themselves? Any comments, suggestions for changes? Hate the font or layout? Think I was talking through my hat when I critiqued that other guy's work? Please do leave comments here and on the submissions if you'd like.
    Torgo, 9:33 pm


    RSS ? CSS? Greymatter ? Is that real ? Are you being ironic ? Is it the name of an Indian spirit guide ( "I've had a message from Greymatter") I don't understand any of this ! What does it all mean ?
    Anonymous Ian Stuart, at 11:01 pm  
    I don't really know what RSS is, but what the hell, it only required about an hour of tinkering to set it up, and everyone else has got one. CSS is an alien language which is used to break your website in new and perplexing ways. Greymatter is administered by the Machine Elves at the centre of Reality, and will require some heavy psychedelics. Enjoy!
    Blogger Torgo, at 11:05 pm  
    Since starting this Blogging thing, I've learned CSS...more than once I needed CPR, but if I can learn it so can you. I'm really enjoying myself, your very informative and not the least bit snarky :-)...Oh, question..what is a dry cream cracker?
    Blogger Bonnie Calhoun, at 11:17 pm  

    The world record for eating three cream crackers stands at 49.15 seconds. They are somewhat dry...
    Blogger Torgo, at 11:22 pm  
    Oh...got it. Like a matzo, served with cheese. That's right up my alley. I like both....And I LOVE Wikipedia..I use it all the time. 'Nother question...is that picture really you?
    Blogger Bonnie Calhoun, at 11:41 pm  
    It is really Torgo. Wikipedia has a delightful page on him. I recommend the link to the Haunting Torgo Theme.
    Blogger Torgo, at 11:48 pm  
    I like how you answered the question. "The picture is really Torgo." That wasn't what I asked, but I guess that's my answer.
    Blogger Bonnie Calhoun, at 2:59 am  
    Yes, yes, you won the ashes. Can we please stop talking about that?
    Loving the site, will follow it wherever it goes, as long as it's Mac compatible (yes, I'm one of them).
    Anonymous Koala, at 4:16 am  
    Re: "Please please can I reiterate: if at all possible could you strip any special characters out of your submissions?"

    Sorry. I sent in before you mentioned this was an issue on the site. Hope it doesn't cause problems when you get to mine. Great stuff lately, Torgo. Your fan base will follow you anywhere.

    Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:53 am  
    Sorry Koala,
    I've got 4 words for you


    By the way, did Torgo mention we won the Ashes :)
    Anonymous CoolHand, at 6:57 am  
    No worries, Diana - I'm aware of the problem now, so shouldn't cause too many problems.
    Blogger Torgo, at 12:33 pm  
    Loving the site, just dying for my piece to get "torn apart." Keep up the good work!
    Blogger Chris, at 1:47 am  

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